Just Right
by tayee
Summary: Sasuke's adventures in attempt to conquer his fear of massages...SasuHina
1. Chapter 1: Control

Sasuke's adventures in attempt to conquer his fear of massages….SasuHina

This story is purely for fun, Naruto does not belong to me. Just a sillyfic I thought of randomly. This is considered AU / crack-pairing, since Sasusaku is now canon. But I still (sometimes) like to live in a world where Sakura is still annoying, and Sasuke still cannot stand her. :P someday I'll write something more canon…maybe. Until then!..

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke liked being in control. Like the decisive moment during a fated battle, just before victory was claimed - the certainty in knowing his position of strength, the ability to determine his enemy's outcome, whether they continue to exist or be obliterated. He liked the fact that the choice to return to Konoha after the Fourth Shinobi War was HIS choice and HIS alone. It was his choice to come home, and his choice to join the ANBU force, which has turned out to be quite a decent gig, a good fit for him to excel at what he does…and remain in the shadows. Uchiha Sasuke was always the master of his own destiny.

If control was his comfort zone…then massages were the antipode. Massages were for the weak, helpless, and perverted. Who in their right mind would want to be "manhandled" by somebody, without being allowed to "manhandle" right them back? Massage oils? Disgusting. Incense candles? Nauseating. Indeed, for Sasuke, to be a recipient of massages was one of the worst forms of torture.

Unfortunately for him, that's exactly what his doctor Tsunade recently prescribed to him, after diagnosing him with a case of severe "muscular fatigue and chakra depletion-itis" (or something like that.) He had overworked his body through his daily rigorous training and tasks, according to the ba-chan. But don't worry, she had told him. A few sessions of massage therapy will do the trick. Until then, no physical activity.

Sasuke was NOT happy to be given this diagnosis. Laying flat on your face, half naked, and allowing a random stranger dig their fingers into your body? No, thank you.

But despite his discontent, the Uchiha knew well enough not to challenge Tsunade. Although the former Hokage was now retired to a more cushy peaceful job of running Konoha hospital, after Kakashi was inaugurated in her former role a year ago, she managed to retain that feisty, bossy, and commanding side. Not to mention she could easily kick his ass in her old age...at least in his current incapacitated state.

Today was his first scheduled session. He put on his shoes and left his apartment. Although he hated to admit it, the former avenger's body was in the most unfortunate painful condition. Even the simplest of movements caused him to be sore. That morning he had trouble even putting on his shirt. Just raising his arms over his head to fit into the arm holes felt like there were large boulders crashing down onto his body.

Arriving at the hospital, he checked in. He frowned slightly at the blushing receptionist who welcomed him, as his impatience was quickly overtaken by apprehension. _Let's get this over with. My body needs to get back to being useful again._

The nurse brought him to the treatment room, and left him there to change…or strip down rather. Sasuke took off his clothing quickly, grimacing momentarily at the aches he felt. He put on the tiny disposable boxers that were provided, which were made of some kind of white netting. It hugged his parts quite snugly and was rather see-through. The room was dimly lit, with a bed lined with white towels and sheets. There was a pillow with a hole cut through, where he supposed one's face should go when laying downward, peering over a small dish of water with a Katsura leaf floating atop, the very tree that was Konoha's source of national identity and pride. In the dish was also a cherry blossom…how very bizarre, given it was the middle of summer, Sakura season was long over…

"Hi Sasuke-kuuuuuuuuuun!" Sakura entered the room at that apt moment, dressed in a tight white hospital uniform.


	2. Chapter 2: Perverted

"Hi Sasuke-kuuuuuuuuuun!" Sakura entered the room at that apt moment, dressed in a tight white hospital uniform.

Sasuke quickly snatched a towel from the bed to drape around his waist, annoyed from being caught off guard and even more annoyed to discover the person who was at his service.

The pink haired medic was his former teammate, and #1 rabid fan. Although she claimed to be "so over him now" that they were both grown, the Uchiha still had a sneaking suspicion that the woman was still secretly obsessed.

"C'mon, you don't need to be shy with me Sasuke-kun." Sakura chided playfully as she moved about, preparing the oils for the task ahead. "It's not like we didn't get to see a peek every now and then of each other while camping out during missions together as children." She giggled, oblivious to his displeasure.

"Hn." Sasuke chose to ignore her previous comment. "Just tell me what I need to do."

"Sure, Sasuke-kun! First, get on the bed, face downward." Sasuke obliged grudgingly. He reminded himself logically that the sooner they started, the quicker it was going to be over.

"Today, you're getting the Konoha Signature Massage Treatment, which is sensei's specially developed treatment aimed to bring long term healing to damaged muscle, tendon, and chakra points. It incorporates traditional massage techniques, medical ninjutsu healing currents, combined with these medicinal oils, which will both help conduct the currents and relax all your senses" Sakura chirped in a meditative voice, reciting the mantra she was taught.

Sasuke had to give her credit for keeping it professional, and she did know her stuff. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

"…AND during the second part of our treatment, I will get on the table, to apply necessary level of...pressure for this treatment" she added, green eyes sparkling, her voice peaked with a sudden eagerness when mentioning that last part.

Sasuke suddenly had a really bad sinking feeling in his stomach. But it was too late. Sakura was already lathering oil all over young man's muscular back. Her fingers moved in a masterful way, as she pressed deeply into his chakra points. She kneaded the tight spots expertly, as Sasuke half winced and half relished the sore sensation and healing it brought forth immediately after with each push.

Once she finished treating the entire area of his back , he felt her pause briefly before she climbed on top of him. His bare skin was still glazed with oil from her earlier, settling comfortably on his butt as her seat cushion. Her hands returned to his body, but now instead of using the previous push and knead technique, she changed to long lingering strokes. Due to his injury, Sasuke couldn't really gauge whether the pink kunoichi still applying treatment him or just trying feeling him up sensuously.

"Relax Sasuke-kun…you're so tense." The girl leaned closer, breathing those words seductively into his ear. She was now straddling him with her entire body, and he could feel more than just her hands on him. Her bare chest to be exact, was grazing his skin, as the girl teasingly brushed her lips up his spine and along his neckline. "Sasuke…" She breathed. "I'm going to make you feel good…"

"Get ..off… me…" Sasuke mustered all the strength he could given his injury to push himself up and out of the death grip of girl's legs. Sakura slid off him like a wet fish, landing awkwardly on the table. He did not know when she managed to take off her uniform, and was now just clad in a skimpy assemble that could barely be called an outfit….lacy black thong on the bottom and perky breasts half peeking out of her bra. There was so much oil and everything was slimy, including her lips. The whole room smelled like it was marinated in sakura oil. The sweetness was overwhelming and starting to sicken him. Without a word, he glared at her, grabbed his clothes, and stormed out of the room.

"Sasuke…wait…no don't leave me!" Sakura wailed dramatically, lips quivering. She didn't understand how her brilliant plan had failed. Firstly, she followed all the steps by step instructions from latest issue of Konoha's Women's Monthly love column on "How to Seduce Any Man and Claim Him as Yours". Secondly, she had been diligently practicing on a life sized blow-up Sasuke doll in preparation for her session with him.

Now, she was full of remorse and regret. How could she have been so stupid, such an imbecile, such a fool….FOR NOT REMEMBERING TO TAKE OFF ALL HER CLOTHES! Yes, she just needed to try harder next time! She mustn't give up! Any sane, sexually functional, straight guy would be turned on by her allure, right? With a pep talk from her inner Sakura and newfound determination, she took the rest of the afternoon off to devise her next irrational master plan to seduce the Uchiha.


	3. Chapter 3: Creepy

Sasuke was enraged. The Uchiha couldn't believe Sakura would stoop down to such levels to molest him. He was scarred for life and somehow hated massage even more now.

 _Sakura is the best masseuse at this hospital._ The front reception had tried to tell the angry Uchiha, but after receiving a few threat from the scary ex-rogue, they escalated his complaints to the head medic Tsunade.

Tsunade looked up at the Sharingan bearer looking disheveled and kind of oily, as he stormed into her office. "What…did you not enjoy the massage? Give it another shot, the treatment takes time to kick in."

Sasuke glared at the former Hokage. "This is bullshit, I'm going back to training tomorrow."

"You will do no such thing. Unless you can do the "Y-M-C-A" dance right now with enthusiasm, you're coming back to complete your treatment, Uchiha"

 _Damn it_. Sasuke knew he couldn't do that dance right now even if his life depended on it, and of course the Sannin would see right through that. "Fine. Then give me another masseuse."

"Sakura giving you trouble?"

"She's a f-cking lunatic / pervert". Tsunade leaned back in her chair and shook her head. She knew her bright protege well. Sakura had a good head on her shoulder for the most part, whenever Sasuke is involved, she had the ability to turn as lecherous as a certain white haired fellow Sannin she knew well.

"Uchiha, you're in luck. We are currently cross-training a few shinobis in the art of medical massage. They aren't as advanced as Sakura, but they are qualified to treat you. You will be assigned a new technician tomorrow"

Sasuke grunted, which Tsunade interpreted as the closest thing she would get to appreciation. As he turned his back to head home, he heard her call out after him: "Believe me you need it. You look like hell."

And he felt like it too.

* * *

Over the next couple of days….

Sasuke was back in his disposable boxers, with a towel temporarily draped over his lower body. Looking at his new masseur warily, Sasuke got back on the plush bed-table for his dreaded treatment.

Sai smiled back at him widely, with his signature closed eyes. The artist nin was eager to do a good job, and test out his new abilities, and giving a big smile was a sure way of providing good customer service.

"I'll be your masseur today. Looking forward to touching your naked body with my bare hands until you are wholesome again, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke sweat dropped..."Uh yea….whatever. Do what you need to do"

"Hai" Sai proceeded to unbutton his uniform, revealing his chiseled abs which rivaled the handsome Uchiha's.

"Uh…what are you doing, you weirdo" Sasuke was getting alarmed, and not to mention creeped out.

"Taking off my clothes Sasuke-kun" Smile never leaving his face, the pale-skinned nina was now half naked, ready to step out of his cotton uniform slacks.

"I can see that dumb ass! I mean why the hell would you….STOP!" Sasuke tried to activate his Sharingan to knock him out, but to his dismay his body was still damaged from the stupid "chakra depletion-itis".

Before Sai's slacks hit the ground, the Uchiha swiftly ducked out of the room, not before grabbing his clothes, muttering curses under his breath. "Unbelievable…!"

Sai stood there in his undies, scratching his head puzzled. He pondered what could have gone wrong, and decided the best thing was to go to Sakura for some tips. After all, she was his senpai and most skillful when it came to this new art form he was learning, and he was merely modeling his craft in the exact manner in which she was conducting herself the day before when he was secretly observing them from a crack in the wall, being the diligent pupil he was.


End file.
